God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.

I miss you so much
Your light, your smile, your way, and everything about us
Though you're gone, you're still here
In my heart, in my tears
Yeah you sure left your mark and we were just getting started.

I think about you more days than others. It's been months and I'm still not over you. It's hard dreaming with a broken heart. I see you in my dreams and I couldn't be happier, then I wake up and face reality. Face the fact that you're not mine anymore. I know you still care about me. I hear it from your mom, your sister. But you know what? I think that's why I can't get over you. Nobody will let me. They tell me you miss me, you ask how I'm doing. I tell them I'm fine. But let me tell you, that is the biggest lie. I'm not okay. I'm broken. But you were the one I talked to when I was upset. You were my best friend. Yeah, sure, I started talking to one of my old best friends again but you know what? Everybody ends up leaving me. Everybody. Truth is, I'm used to it. It's not a matter of if they are going to leave me, it's a matter of when. I want somebody to prove me wrong. I wanted that person to be you. But you know what? I got scared. I got scared you would leave me. So before you got the chance to leave, I left. I fucked it up. Let me tell you, that is the only thing I regret in my entire life. Never have I done anything to mess something up that was so right for me. I'm sorry. But you know that. I practically begged you to take me back. I did everything I could to make you forgive me. But the thing is, you forgave me. Remember that night I went over to your house? I thought we were going to be okay. We obviously weren't. You told me you couldn't date me. You watched me cry my eyes out for hours while you told me you just wanted to be friends. You broke my heart. You even followed me home because I was so upset. When I got out of the car at my house to say our last goodbye, you were crying. Just be with me. We could have worked it out, we could have been something wonderful. You didn't give it a chance. But I should have never let you go. I gave you all of me. You still have my heart. I am still in love with you. I have no idea how you feel. But I don't really want to know. I just want me back. The person I've been lately isn't who I want to be. I'm supposed to be happy. I'm not supposed to be crying all the time, still. Hell, I'm crying as I write this. I want my heart back, I want you back. But it will never work. Not now. And that kills me.

I'm sorry.

I love you.

Now please excuse me while I try to put the pieces back together.

While I try to put me back together.

I'm tired of being broken.

I'm tired of people leaving me.

Please somebody prove me wrong.

I'm scared to get close to people. I push the people away I care about the most. A bit of advice, if I get close and then try to push you away, dont let me. And I promise if you can prove me wrong that not everybody leaves, I will give you the best of me. I'll give you my heart. Once I get it back. As for now, let me get myself together because right now, I'm a mess.

I'm so lost, I'm so alone, and I just want you to know
Everywhere that I go, I'm reminded of us
Where we've been, all we've done, and all the love that we shared.