What do you want from me?

Sometimes I wonder if maybe we’ll ever get back together, and then I realize that we’ll never really be over. In a way, it hasn’t changed, but it some ways, it has. It’s not that we aren’t meant for each other, I think it’s just maybe we aren’t ready for forever.

I'm at a loss for words.

I try not to look at your page that much, because I am afraid of what I might see. I knew eventually you would have something on there that I wouldn't like, I just had no idea how it would make me feel. To be honest, I don't know how I feel. Sometimes I feel nothing. Sometimes I get sad. Sometimes I get mad. And other times, I am happy you are doing well. What am i supposed to feel? So many emotions are taking over.

But you know what I don't understand? I see those things on your page last night, I go through the whole day going over my emotions, trying to understand what I'm feeling, trying to figure out how to deal with what I saw, and you txtd me. It's like you knew I saw what I saw last night. It's like, you wanted to make sure I was okay. We didn't talk about it though. I'm not going to bring it up, and I know you wont. We are just talking about the usual stuff. "How's school?" "What have you been up to?" The funny thing is, you asked me if I wanted to play this game with you on our phones. It's kind of like scrabble, so we go back and forth spelling out different words. Of course, me thinking too much into it, realized that this is going to be a daily reminder of you. But not in a bad way, we're just playing a game. I don't know what I'm feeling. This whole paragraph probably doesn't even make sense. So many feelings, so many thoughts, I can't even focus.

I want people to know I am happy, but I am also sad at the same time.

I'm trying to figure it out. It's a weird feeling.

I am extremely grateful for the people I have in my life.

The people that have stayed, and to people I have just met.

Thank you for keeping me sane.

I love all of you.

Maybe it's time to change.